Why I’m Home.

Going to college close to home has its perks. I called my mom today asking if I could come back. I had to write a paper for class, scrap the old one, and rewrite from scratch. To do this, I had to dig deep within myself to extract something that barely exists within me. Everything I do, I do with care so I how can I agree with my professor that my original paper was of no use?

So here I am. Laying on the floor between the lights and the carpet, floating in existence.  I find a sense of freedom in this moment. I don’t get home sick, you see, and I don’t find much comfort in my home compared to my dorm. What I find comfort in, is myself. Sometimes at school, I feel lost in the decisions of others and the meanings behind them. You see, contrary to my professor’s belief, I can’t let go of my style of writing. It would be like hiding. Sitting in my room, I find comfort in my walls, covered in paintings, who’s eyes remind me of why I paint at all. You see, for me Art is the Self reflection of Survival.

No, I don’t need others to succeed, I just love.  At any moment, life can end. A morbid thought but it’s absolutely true and we all know it. Don’t choose to ignore it and don’t choose to fear it. Only choose to hold yourself to living the fullest life possible.

With that, Care as much and as little as possible. Do as much as you can for others, until your heart says it is enough. And in that moment, care for yourself. When you begin to prioritize your life, you’ll find what’s important to you. Whatever it is out in the distance that is calling you will be heard. Reach for it and hold tightly, another dream to fill your heart. Be grateful for those dreams you have at night and the moments where all is at rest.

Think a lot. Thinking deeply about life doesn’t mean your at a low. In fact, I find my high when I take a moment to breathe in what I have. This is one of those moments. Home is just a label, if you have found something to hold onto, you are home.giphy

 

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