It’s been a minute.
As I sit here and reflect on this past semester, I want to be as honest as possible with both myself and anyone who chooses to read this. This hasn’t been the easiest couple of months, but at times it’s felt so natural (that nature coming from fate, or some other force that I don’t know yet). I experienced what felt like heartache, and it ached- more than just my heart. Tied into all of that, I began to learn about the world that I’ve always called home, entertainment. My life is an escape from reality. I think that escaping reality is the only way I know how to live, to stay afloat. I don’t mean by drugs, in fact, I realized that drugs make me more aware/more ‘in the moment’, as I’m usually floating away on a far-away planet.
Here’s a list of things that this semester has taught me, brought me, or dropped on my head:
- A couple friends. I have been more selective, as I’m only looking for dreamers (accepting applications). Also why I need to move to L.A..
- A beautiful roommate, inside and out. Emily leaves for the weekend a lot but I will cherish our Shane Dawson viewing parties more than anything. It’s so nice to come back after a stressful day and crack up over Uno jumping in a pool or something.
- A dorm full of kids that I didn’t know existed before college. Kids who appreciate music for all that it is and listen to alternatives only. Every day, you guys look like you’re coming straight out of a hipster tumblr page, or a 1999 pop punk show, and I appreciate that. Please, to those of you who play- keep going for that dream. Keep Demarest Hall stinky n loud xx
- Two books, one that I’m reading right now (It’s great). I don’t think you’ll read this, sir. We haven’t talked in months but I think about you. I just do, and I’m sorry for what we went through. I’ll never regret us. (x)
- A stronger mind. It could be weighed down by studies and sounds that sound like screams, but it stays balanced. Somehow, in the rain/pain/insanity – it stays moving. I’ve learned that fear and anxiety can not get in the way of life and that we must keep working towards our little goals.
- Mad Hatters, at a place called The Rabbit Hole. They saved me from falling right after the breakup, and I couldn’t thank them enough. And now they’ve called for me again, and they put me to high standards and I need that as well. I love knowing we both need each other. I, more than them, in this case.
- Long walks while listening to Chase Atlantic are the only thing I need for motivation.
- I’m in love with the radio. I saw a board the other day in a new studio and got excited. Buttons. Excite. Me. I think I’m in the right place, and I don’t know where it will lead me but I need it to stay.
- I’m gonna study Journalism and Media because I want to help others. How, you may ask? How can a life be saved with media? Well, like I wrote above, music is the only way I know how to live. Some people only know how to live by doing drugs, or buying things, or complaining about their neighbors. Well, the only thing that has ever fueled me to be alive, is music. It will never leave my side, and I will bring it to other people’s doorsteps and drop it off like a stork with a baby. I don’t think any psychologist has ever spoke to me the way that Cat Stevens does.
- A trip to Boston towards the end, one of the best weekends I’d say.
- I am free. And that’s really all I’ll ever need to know.
With Love, Love, Love,
and did I mention,
Bri Born x